By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
