Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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