I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone shattered a urinal.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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