I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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