Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
