Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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