Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
the liver wants what the liver wants
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
