after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
