Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
