I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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