physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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