Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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