Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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