PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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