I'm so fucking centered right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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