i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
