I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize