After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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