I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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