I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She said her name was "party"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't put those talents on a resume
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No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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