he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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