New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
