I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
