Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
