don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
