he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
