With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
