Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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