And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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