I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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