what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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