I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
