i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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