I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
