An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
