Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am available for nakedness
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
