would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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