Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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