I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
