i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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