You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
