K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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