We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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