cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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