Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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