If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
