she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
