fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have post one night stand depression
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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