That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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