i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
