apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
