I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
