Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
