Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
