hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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