I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
