I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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