Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
