My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
