Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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