I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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