her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
