Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
