escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
